Monday, November 23, 2009

Just Can't Take No More

Homework, that is. A little over 3,000 words and 15 pages of essay writing later....I've hit my wall. I don't want to do anymore homework. And yet, I don't really have a choice. Why do teachers have to hit so hard with homework right before the holidays? That's always how it goes.

Our dishwasher is broken and I spent 2 hours after work today hand-washing all of our dirty dishes. Yes, that was our fault for letting them pile up too high. I also managed to stab my thumb with a fork while trying to wash it. I didn't think that a fork could do so much damage to skin, but I thought wrong.

I feel like everyone else has gone home for Thanksgiving already and I'm stuck here working until 3:30 on Wednesday. I just can't take no more. I wish it were Thanksgiving already.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

At Home In A House of Boys

Currently I'm seating on a very plush, comfy couch avoiding my 8 page "Who Is Jesus in the book of Matthew" paper that is staring at me. I am at my friend Aaron's house. I feel guilty for telling this, but here's how I got here: First, Aaron has a very open door policy which is nice. Second, Our Bible Study met at our house tonight (my room mate Kasey is also in my Bible Study), but I needed to write this paper and get some work done. I didn't want to be in my room in the same house that my Bible Study was taking place in though-I just felt weird about that. So I called Aaron and asked if I could do homework at his casa. Of course his answer was "yes." So here I am. Aaron is working on a project with someone in his room and his other two room mates are in the family room watching a movie. And I'm in the den getting a lot accomplished as long as I stay off of facebook, My Life is Average and now, Blogger. I've gotten 3 pages done in the last 3 hours. Problem an hour and a half of that was spent on facebook and MLIA though.

But here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that I love my room mates They're the absolute best. I love all of the silliness that we have, the prank phone calls that we make, the meals that we cook and the memories that we make. But, there's something that I love about being in a house of boys. I realize that this sounds really weird. I think it comforts me a little bit though. I only have brothers. My cousins who are closest to my age and in California are boys. I just feel like I've grown up surrounded by boys. So here I sit, no one around me, but the sounds of boys laughing at a stupid movie puts a smile on my face. Why? Because I can picture Caleb and Noah sitting in the living room watching a dumb show and laughing about it. Some days I feel right at home sitting here in the house full of boys. And other days it just makes me wish for a little brotherly love from Austin, Caleb and Noah.

Right now, I feel right at home in this house of boys, but I'm looking forward to seeing my brothers and cousins for Thanksgiving next week! I should probably get back to that paper now. :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Faith Through the Storms

"The disciples woke him up, shouting, 'Master, Master we're going to drown!' So Jesus rebuked the wind and the raging waves. The storm stopped and all was calm!"
-Luke 8:24

A lot of times I just feel like my life is a storm. Just this crazy mess of everything and yet nothing all at the same time. I feel like I try so hard to figure out what my purpose is here on this earth, but I end up feeling rushed, frustrated, confused and a little bit empty because I don't feel accomplished. When I try to figure out what it is that God wants me to do with the rest of my life I just end up uber stressed. I like to be in control, but God's got it. It is so easy for me to tell other people to just trust in His perfect and good plan for their life, but for me to actually put it into practice in my own life is a different story. Sometimes I do good, but when I start looking ahead, I panic and try to take the wheel away from God.

Do I just be an elementary teacher, or should I pursue a master's degree and be a college professor? If I am an elementary teacher, do I go where I feel safe and teach at CVC or do I go where I feel my heart being pulled and teach in an inner-city somewhere? If I do college, should I do English or something like American Sign Language or Spanish? God, I've been single for what feels like forever. Part of me is fine with that, but it panics me to see many of my friends engaged or in serious relationships.

Different little storms tend to show up in life, and those are just a few that end up in my head. It may not be an actual storm like the disciples experienced in Luke, but it is the same concept. That storm rocked the boat that those disciples were in and they panicked. They woke Jesus up and he immediately calmed the storm and then turned around and asked them, "Where is your faith?"

My life is the same way. All of these little things rock the boat that I'm in, but God is at the head of the ship and he's also the One who controls the storm. Time and time again when I find myself trying to figure things out I hear him saying, "Where is your faith?" In You, O God, I will place my trust.

writer's block

there's so much going on in life right now.
i have so many stories and thoughts that i could share.
but they're so numerous that it's overwhelming me.
therefore, i have nothing to say today.

Monday, November 16, 2009

On Relationships

Lately, I feel like I'm being bombarded with relationship drama. And guess what, I'm not even in one. Haven't been for 3 years. It took me a year and a half to be completely content with being single. And this past year and a half has been so good. My relationship with God has grown stronger because I let him fill that void where a boyfriend used to be and I've been able to completely embrace my life with just me and my friends and my family. And it's been good. And this past week a couple of my really close friends have been having major relationship drama. I've been there and I've done that and I'm thankful for two things.

The first is that I'm thankful that I was able to realize that being single is okay. And that God is the true love of my life. And that he is by far the best guy ever.

The second is that I'm thankful for my most recent relationship. I hear about how some guys are in relationships, and about relationships in general and I'm able to look back and think, wow, that guy was a really great guy. I'm thankful that I'm able to have a certain standard (regardless, it's a pretty high standard) for guys, but I'm glad that I've been able to keep it and not stoop to a lower level. The guy that I dated most recently was an awesome man of God, he led our relationship in every way possible and he was the greatest friend that I could ever ask for. And I'm so thankful for that. Whoever I date in the future has some big shoes to fill.

I'm not sure if anything that I wrote just made sense. The main point is that I'm thankful for where I'm at in life and for the people that God has placed in my life.

Good night all.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Hello, world! I'm back!

Oh yes, I'm SO back!

The migraine lifted yesterday evening. It was the most lovely feeling that I have ever felt. I had been walking around unable to focus on anything because of that silly migraine. But now, it is gone. It's still a little head ache-y, but I can definitely handle a head ache.

Well, on Monday I went home (to Visalia) after I got sent home early from work for sounding too sick. It was lovely. Mother cooked the most delicious roast dinner annnnd I got to cuddle with my dog, Diego while I took naps. It was good for my soul, although I didn't really get much better after that. Wednesday my family came to Fresno and we had dinner at BJ's...delissshhhhh-ousness! Pizookies are ah-mazing. And so is family time.

I might go take a nap right now. I have a short-term Bible class this weekend. It's only this weekend, but that means that I get to learn about the book of Matthew from 6-10 pm tonight and all of the wonderful day tomorrow. Could be rough.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Cry Me A River

I apologize for not being a frequent enough Blogger. Soon, when I'm feeling better again, I'll update you on all of the goodness that is going on in my life. Trust me, there's a lot of goodness.

However, right now that happy stuff has been clouded over by the fact that I have Bronchitis. I've had it since last Thursday and I'm getting so annoyed with it. I forgot just how long Bronchitis usually takes me out of life. I haven't gotten it since high school, but whenever I got it in high school I usually missed school for about a week and a half. Now, being the busy, working woman, college student that I am: I don't have TIME to be out for a week and a half. But here I am: Day 6 and counting. Not only do I have Bronchitis, but I've acquired some sort of wretched migraine that keeps me from functioning when it hits.

So that's life right now. Sorry for the venting session. I know you're all probably thinking, "Cry me a river," but thanks for reading anyway. :) And I promise that once I feel better, I will share some bits and pieces of goodness with you all.