Casting Cares

This morning I woke up and I felt sad. I'm not sure why. I think part of it was that I'm feeling really anxious about moving (yes, I'm moving again. I'll still be in Fresno, but now I'll have a POOL!!), part of it is that the month of May is just crrrrrazy always and the other part is that I felt as though one of the relationships that's been really present in my life for that past year and a half is disappearing. And I just woke up feeling alone and overwhelmed.

That's the thing though. I get in these mindsets where I think, I don't need that person - I'm fine on my own. And I try to be all "Miss Independent." Or I think, I don't need people to help me move. I don't need to quit packing my schedule. I get to a point where I think I'm invincible and the way I fill voids where people or activities once were is by packing tasks into my day so that I'm too busy to notice that they're gone or that something's missing.

And then I start to get anxious and overwhelmed because I'm overdoing things. And I eventually get to a breaking point (much like I was at this morning) where I realize that this is right where God wants me. Because in my moments of extreme weakness, that's when I realize that I need God's strength. I've tried everything on my own and I can't do it anymore; and that's when my Type-A personality is willing to put it in God's hands.

As I realized my brokenness and my need for God's strength and His plan, I prayed to him the entire time that I got ready for work. The more I talked to God, the more my anxieties were quieted. It's a continual lesson for me to realize that I can't make my life's schedule - I can't try to fill it with the people that I want to, when I want to...I have to trust in God's perfect planning skills. After all, he created my Type A-ness, so surely he understands where I'm coming from. :)

If you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious, just let it go. Cast your cares on God. They might not all get fixed right away like you want them to, but at least do yourself a favor and give your worries to Him. He'll take care of it from there.

"Be still and know that I'm God!" -Psalm 46:10
"Give all your worries and care to God because He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7

An Unfair Trade: Death for Life

Today is Easter. Most people know that there is a deeper meaning to Easter than bunny rabbits and Easter egg hunts, but not everyone lives their lives to reflect that.

Simply put, God sent his one and only Son to die on the cross many years ago, to save the world from their sins. Three days after the perfect, innocent son of God died on the cross, He was raised from the dead so that those who believed in Him could have eternal life. (John 3:16)

So what does this mean? It's not too difficult of a concept to understand, but often times it is a concept that many people have difficulty believing. Christians who believe in the death and resurrection might believe that they are saved from Hell, but they might have a difficult time believing that their sins, ALL of their sins - past, present and current - have been washed away through the death of Jesus Christ. So...

• If you have ever gossiped, lied or cheated...that has been forgiven.
• If you have ever struggled with addictions such as alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc...those addictions have been forgiven.
• Do you have a rough past that you feel as though you can never escape that old self? That past is gone. If you have accepted Christ as your Saviour, then you are a NEW life.
  
• Was your childhood filled with difficult times - were your parents abusive? Were your parents just flat out absent? Scars from that type of upbringing can be healed through Jesus if you believe in Him. You are not bound to the mistakes of your parents, you are a NEW creation through Jesus Christ's death.
• Anything that you think is impossible...has been made possible through Jesus Christ.

But you might be thinking that even though you know these things to be true, you just don't understand how someone could love you so much and how someone could forgive you for such terrible things in your past. I understand that. And if we're being honest, it's true. We are so undeserving of such a great love and life that Christ has given to us. It really is an unfair trade: death for life, but that's the beauty and greatness of our God.

This is the meaning of Easter. No matter what we've gone through or where we've been, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ - the old has gone and the new has come for anyone who believes in this great promise. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

Believe it. Live it. Happy Easter!

Questioning God

Do you ever question God? I do. All the time. My favorite questions to ask are, "What would have happened if I had stayed in LA?" or "What was the purpose of placing him/her in my life?"

Maybe if I had stayed at Biola I wouldn't have done this or that and I wouldn't have met him or her. But if I hadn't experienced those fun football games and been able to live with those girls, then I would have missed out on some really fun memories. But if I wasn't here, then maybe I wouldn't have made that poor decision. Or maybe that person wouldn't have been able to hurt me. Why, God? I feel like I can go so many different directions with this post because I think that pain and discomfort has a lot to do with our walks as Christians, so the Bible has a lot to say about difficult situations and about questioning God and his plan, his grace, his sovereignty, his goodness, his mercy...you name it.

One day I can be in the mindset of, "Yes! God totally has a plan for me. I can rest in that plan and I have no worries. I don't need to try and work that out because I know that God will take care of it." And then the very next day I can be completely questioning everything that I thought the day before and turn around and try to take matters into my own hands. In which case, I usually start with the usual round of questions for God.

Here's what I know though, I know that God brought me back to the Central Valley 2 and a half years ago for a reason. And I know that he placed me in different houses and placed different people in my life at various times for such a time as this. And even though I fall into the trap of human nature and trying to figure things out on my own, I know that God does have a plan in every single thing that happens in my life. And I'm going to tell you right now that I'm not perfect...and I literally do trust one day and doubt the next. It's the result of sin in human nature. Thankfully, God is always good and no matter how many times we may turn away or question him, he will never let us go.

Moo.

I had the opportunity to represent the Calf Ranch today at Farmersville High School's Career Day. We brought out a trailer with two baby calves who were just a day old and one bull who was 4 months old. We discussed how to apply for jobs, as well as available jobs in agriculture today with the students. I think we had at least 3 people step in cow poop today though...oops! All in all, it was a fun morning getting to hang out with a bunch of high school students and a few cows.

So Cal, Where Art Thou?

Things I miss about SoCal:

1. Beach
2. Fashion

The beach is an obvious one. I remember the days when we would go to Huntington to do our homework. Would we actually get homework done? Not usually. We had fun though.

Fashion. Gosh, I miss how people dress in SoCal. It's hard to describe. In fact, I don't think I can describe it. I can just see it in my head and I miss it. I don't feel like I can dress like that in Fresno anymore...I almost have to dumb my clothing style down a little bit.

Case-in-point: Today I went to a place called Plato's Closet in Fresno to try and sell some of my clothes. Plato's Closet is kind of like an upper-end thrift store. I used to go to a place similar to this in Fullerton called Buffalo Exchange. I got so many clothes from there - it was awesome. Cute, brand names at sweet prices. So, I went to Plato's Closet today expecting something similar...I should've known better.

Plato's Closet was living proof that Fresno is not quite up to speed on clothing trends. (I do need to say that there are a few people who know how to dress.) And of course, Fresno's fashion can be compared more to the Kardashian sisters, while SoCal fashion is more, eh, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen-ish. That's not giving it justice, I'm sorry. But it's the best I can do in my sleepy state of mind right now.

Moral of the story: I miss So Cal.

When Strangers Become Friends

I'm sitting here in the Fresno State library (yes, I'm a poser...I don't actually go to Fresno State. No one knows that though.) and my favorite part of the library is being able to just sit here and watch people. People fascinate me. Here there are people from literally every walk of life and it's intriguing to me how unique everyone really is. People from different cities, states and countries all in one building.

Not only do I love watching the individuals, but I love watching how they interact with each other in groups. People are brought together through classes, group projects, sports, sororities and fraternities, dorms, church, you name it. To me, that's the beauty of college: being able to witness and be a part of when strangers become friends. You can learn so much about God's creation when you interact with people outside of your typical social norm. I think that's a great thing - and you don't have to agree with the differences or change your beliefs, but I think that there's a lot of good that can come out of being exposed to the differences among people. Not conformity, but when strangers become friends it opens the door for love.

For Christians especially, I think we should take hold of all of these open doors and use these opportunities to show Christ's love. Those differences shouldn't cause us to become lukewarm Christians, but instead to live openly for Christ and let our light shine in hopes that they will know we are Christians by our love.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16

First Inspiration Board!

Ok, so I definitely need to keep working on my inspiration board skills, but here's my first one. :) It would be used for a fall wedding - the deep eggplant purple makes for a good fall color, but the lime gives it a vibrant feel. And you can't go wrong with caramel apples as favors!

I had a blast making it, but truth be told, this little bad boy took me a while to make. Trying to find complementary shades of color to go with the color that I originally had in mind, etc, etc. I shall keep practicing!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." -1 John 5:14-15

The Definition of Classy.

"Why change? Everyone has his own style. When you have found it, you should stick to it."-Audrey Hepburn

One night I was playing "Apples-to-Apples" with my family and it was my turn to judge. The card that I pulled was "classy." I said out loud, "Hmmmm....my definition of classy...if there was such a thing as an Audrey Hepburn card, that one would win hands down!" As I grabbed each of the five cards that were waiting to be judged, I realized that there was an Audrey Hepburn card laying in the pile. Apparently, my 14-year-old brother, Rob, just happened to have an Audrey Hepburn card. He won, obviously. He said, "I don't even know who that is...but you said Audrey Hepburn."

I could make an entire blog post of Audrey Hepburn quotes. She is the epitome of classiness and she's the star of some of my favorite movies (Sabrina, The Roman Holiday, Breakfast at Tiffany's). All that bumbling to say, stay classy.

Pre-Monday-Pick-Me-Up

Mondays always just seem to be...bleh. Mondays mean that there's 5 work days left before the weekend. I came across this picture on the internet and it just made me feel happy, so I figured that I would share it with you all in case you're feeling the pre-Monday blues, too!