Monday, April 18, 2011

Questioning God

Do you ever question God? I do. All the time. My favorite questions to ask are, "What would have happened if I had stayed in LA?" or "What was the purpose of placing him/her in my life?"

Maybe if I had stayed at Biola I wouldn't have done this or that and I wouldn't have met him or her. But if I hadn't experienced those fun football games and been able to live with those girls, then I would have missed out on some really fun memories. But if I wasn't here, then maybe I wouldn't have made that poor decision. Or maybe that person wouldn't have been able to hurt me. Why, God? I feel like I can go so many different directions with this post because I think that pain and discomfort has a lot to do with our walks as Christians, so the Bible has a lot to say about difficult situations and about questioning God and his plan, his grace, his sovereignty, his goodness, his name it.

One day I can be in the mindset of, "Yes! God totally has a plan for me. I can rest in that plan and I have no worries. I don't need to try and work that out because I know that God will take care of it." And then the very next day I can be completely questioning everything that I thought the day before and turn around and try to take matters into my own hands. In which case, I usually start with the usual round of questions for God.

Here's what I know though, I know that God brought me back to the Central Valley 2 and a half years ago for a reason. And I know that he placed me in different houses and placed different people in my life at various times for such a time as this. And even though I fall into the trap of human nature and trying to figure things out on my own, I know that God does have a plan in every single thing that happens in my life. And I'm going to tell you right now that I'm not perfect...and I literally do trust one day and doubt the next. It's the result of sin in human nature. Thankfully, God is always good and no matter how many times we may turn away or question him, he will never let us go.

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