No, I don't live in the ghetto. I do tutor there though. I'll say that there's hardly ever a dull moment in that part of town, but today was beyond interesting.
It started off with a large, drunk black man coming in the house. He was cussing and being crazy, he yelled at the ladies in the house for a little while and eventually I didn't hear him anymore, which meant he had left. When he was there though, I sat in the back bedroom tutoring one of the girls, texting a friend telling him I was so scared and praying so hard in my head.
Then, as I sat in the girls' room (I'll give you a description: it consists of a mattress without any sheets which is covered in food crumbs, clothes covering the floor and piled in plastic garbage bags and a broken desk. That's their room. The two girls share it.) on the mattress reading a book with one of the girls, I watched a black mouse scurry across the floor about a foot from where I sat.
Later, the girls' grandma came over and talked about how her kids had just been taken away from her and how she had just gotten finished being "locked up" for a few days because she got caught with drugs. I just heard tons of screaming amongst all of the females in the house (the house is all female, actually) and the grandma proceeded to tell her daughter (the girls' mother) ways around getting caught if she were ever to be drug tested.
As I finished my tutoring session, the girls' two year old cousin who had been sitting next to me was playing with my whiteboard. I needed it back as it was time for me to go. The girl's sister grabbed it from her and said, "You just gotta take it...she don't be nice." The two year old....the TWO YEAR OLD said, "fu** you" to me and threw a toy at my head. TWO YEAR OLD.
And then I left. And as I drove away I couldn't help but wonder aloud, "God, where are you? Where are you in all of this? This is just ONE house. One house in the midst of this ghetto and it's this insane." Clearly, I'm still here for a reason and I'm beginning to lose so much hope, but it's times when my friend reminds me that I'm probably the only light that they have in their lives and times when I see all of this shit that these young kids go through that keeps me wanting to press on even if I am uncomfortable most of the time. Time for bed now, prayers for me as I continue this journey and these girls as this is the life they live every day are coveted.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." -Isaiah 41:10
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