Here's a little venting sesh for you to listen to: I'm exhausted. I'm so tired. I feel like lately my life has just been composed of work followed by homework. By the time I get home from work I'm too tired to be energetic and I'm so sick of having to deal with people all day that I barely want to see my roommates. I feel like my days are flying by without any real purpose or meaning. There's so many things that I would love to do. I would love to volunteer at a Boys & Girls Club or come home super excited to hang out with my roommates, but I don't have time or energy.
And then I worry because I'm only working 32 hours (sometimes 40, but that's not too frequent) and I only have myself to care for. What about when I'm working more hours than that someday and I'm a wife and mom? Then what? I can't come home crabby everyday and not want to spend time with anyone. So what do I do? How do I balance all of this nonsense? I just want this vicious cycle to end and I want to feel like I'm accomplishing things and like I'm actually making a difference in the lives of those around me. Isn't that why God put us on this earth, after all? Perhaps I need a little attitude adjustment, but I just feel stuck in this rut. Every Thursday (without fail), I realize that it's Thursday and the week is almost over. I proceed to have a minor break down as I yell to my roommate, Lindsey, "Where is my life going?! It's Thursday already...the week is almost gone!" It needs to stop. There's gotta be more to life and I just need to figure out how to balance it out, I suppose. I feel like that's easier said than done. (sighs)
Whoever said, "You can have it all!" told only part of the truth. As a mom, wife, and career-woman, myself, I've learned that if you have all of it, then none of it will get 100% of you. If you're like me and try to give 110% to everything you do, then that nearly kills you. Yet, when you're used to doing all of it and suddenly a part of it is gone (in my case, it's been work), then you feel guilty, inadequate, worthless. Why? I don't know... still trying to figure that one out. I think you CAN have a good life without being all or having it all, but it's tough to figure out.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to ya, Bri...
Mrs. M