"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." -Ecclesiastes 7:14
I'm generally a very happy person. Right now I'm just flyin' high on life...just 'cause it's so good. However, almost everyday I find at least one or two small things to complain about, one or two small things to put a mild damper on all the goodness that God has given to me. Case in point: engagements. Have I mentioned in a blog yet that everyone I know seems to be getting engaged?! It's insanity. Then I get insecure because I have no prospective men, but here's the catch: I don't WANT a prospective man. Not yet at least (obviously someday I DEFINITELY want a prospective man). I had a possible guy, but I wasn't really content with that because as much as I love hanging out with him, I didn't really want to date him quite yet. At the same time there was part of me that was trying to force myself to want to date him in case he wanted to date me just because I want some sort of security to know that I won't be single for the rest of my life. Sorry...are you following? Hopefully I didn't lose ya! Then the other day he said that he wanted to "slow things down a bit" because he needs to focus on school and sports because he's got some great aspirations that he needs to be focused on in order to reach. When he said that, part of me (most of me) felt a huuuuuuge relief because I can still hang out with him without trying to force something that I didn't want to happen yet anyway, BUT the other little part of me began to panic as the numbers of engagements continued to grow, my chances of dating someone decreased. Ok...see, I'm so indecisive. And I have such a hard time being content.
Here's the thing: God is good. I'm reminded of that nearly every morning as I see the sun above the gorgeous mountains and everyday as I witness the many blessings that he's placed in my life. He put us on this earth to be ambassadors for Him and we came here with nothing and we'll leave here with nothing. This is our temporary home, so technically we're not supposed to be content. We're always supposed to yearn for something more because we weren't created to indulge ourselves in worldly wealth; we were created to live for our Heavenly Father. We should never be content with our life here on this earth. We should be content with the life that he's given us and the things and people that he's placed in our lives, but as far as reaching for more and more and more when it comes to the things of this world: we weren't created to do that. For years I've wanted nothing more than to be able to sing these words with real truth:
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
I've been singing that song in church for years, but I never truly meant it. And I can honestly tell you now that I still don't always mean those words, but lately I've been finding myself being able to say, "God take me. Have me. Fill me. I can't do anything to change the stage in life that you have me in right now, but please just surround me with your love and place your spirit in me," whenever I start to feel discontent. It's tough sometimes, but I know God will walk me through every stage of life and I know that only He can satisfy. And although I won't always feel content or be please with the roads He takes me down, all I can do is lean on Him.
G'night.
(ps. apologies if there are typos...i'm too tired to proofread this)
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